It came to my attention after playing Solitaire and finally winning that, if at all possible, I would like to live my life the way I play the game. You may be wondering the specifics of this but fret not my precious little duckling, I will lead you towards the answer.
When playing Solitaire I frequently lose. Quickly. Painfully. Completely. But the beautiful thing about the game (at least if it's played on a computer, and let's face it, unless you've got an unconquerable fear of electronics or maybe the feel of a deck of cards just turns you on, you're probably playing on a computer) is that at any time you can click "Deal" and start over. Now I wouldn't say my life needs this particular magical ability. Not at all. However who wouldn't want to be able to start over a day, a moment, week, or even year at their desire.
I realize that I'll never have a prestodigimatic moment where I get to click the mighty "Deal" button and have another shot. Despite this realization I think I'd like to have a day where everyone humors me. I think once a year everyone should be allowed a "Deal Day". On this most wonderful and splendid day you be given two "deals". Upon uttering one of your prized "deals" the people around you are banned from giving you grief about what you just said or did. Now you are thinking "Heh heh I'll just kill someone and say 'deal'" Obviously you're an idiot, and you thinking about tarnishing such a beautiful day is reprehensible. Honestly I'm ashamed of you. However though if "Deal Day" existed you could use one to make me rescind those statements.
Obviously there would be parameters to the powers of a "deal". Like say you couldn't punch a guy in the face, or seduce somebody's significant other and expect it to be all sunshine and blue skies. That's an abuse of your power, and nobody likes an abuser. I'm talking about where maybe you're on a date and you call her the wrong name, or maybe you're giving a speech and you mess up astronomically. Small things like that, that can just ruin a day or a relationship, instantly gone. The possibilities for the use of your "deal" are broad if you use your imagination.
I'm not saying start a petition to make this a holiday, as it would never work in the real world. I'm saying the next time someone says something stupid, your boyfriend/girlfriend forgets to call, or your mom packs you "Nacho Cheese" Doritos in your lunch bag instead of "Cool Ranch" just give them a "deal".
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I used to think about this same kind of thing, except I always envisioned that awesome purple reset button on the SNES.
ReplyDeleteBut obviously, you put it a lot more eloquently and descriptively than I ever would have.
And also obviously, I totally agree. I'd kill for that chance (figuratively of course, no abuse of power here.)