Handshakes

I've decided I'm through with cool friend or "bro" handshakes. I'm awful at them and they never seem to work out right for me. Because of this I haven't really initiated one since seventh or eighth grade which is where the whole problem really began.

Every day upon entering class I would be greeted with a series of inane hand slaps and fist bumps by my friends. I could never quite seem to get them right, much to the chagrin of myself and my classmates. Fast forward seven years and some odd months and here I am having an embarrassing handshake with a new acquaintance. 

Maybe I'm mentally handicapped. Maybe when my DNA was being arranged by the microscopic genetics committee they decided they'd omit the "good at elaborate handshakes" gene for the "comic book nerd" one. Honestly you'd think those two genes would go hand in hand. No matter what happened I am the way I am, meanwhile outside of my head a sweaty palm is swinging my direction.

My first impulse is to grab it. No Jerome, No, that's what he's expecting. Do something else! My hand goes out in a confused and normal handshake stance colliding with the damp palm in a diagonal manner. Things get awkward fast as we both look down at the failed greeting that resembles us holding hands romantically.

"I. Uh..."

I stammer a little bit as the guy smiles in an uneasy manner before heading into the class we're both in. We haven't really talked since. I didn't really want to be friends with him anyway.

Now I understand why girls always hug when they see each other.